Still Hanging In There

It's almost safe to say that I've quit...but I think I'll just keep it a secret for the most part and let people figure it out on their own.

Try, try again...

Now I can know this blog is here and not feel like such a failure. I think I actually am doing it this time. Wierd... but who am I to question it. Damn near cold turkey, too.

I started with the patch as usual but the first time I forgot to change it and didn't realize, and still didn't particularly crave cigarettes, I kinda knew this time it was for real. Yay!

My sense of smell is very enhanced right now...my one son got in the car yesterday and I could smell his twizzlers in the bag and the sour apple lollipop.

I managed to make it past the ...I cannot breath... hump, too. That is always the hardest one..a few days out, you get all kinds of clogged up and it seems the only thing that helps is a cigarette. If you can just get past that, then it's good.

I did take some sleep aids in the form of melatonin this time so that I would sleep right and not be so tired when I wake up. Tired has always been a trigger for me.

Anyway...woo hoo!

I Forgot To Count The Days..

Hey, whatever. Since I don't really smoke much anymore, I guess I don't need to. I didn't pick a date, or even really tell anybody.

And, I mentioned it to one of my sons yesterday, and lordy, I know he means well, but I log on to my Facebook this morning and there is a prayer that I have the strength to finally quit this time. Great. Just where I go to try and FORGET..I have some well intentioned person trying to help. Is there any nice way to ask for no help? I mean.....on never mind. Sigh.

As my cravings intensify, so does my oxygen level and this lightheaded feeling I associate with having a cigarette after not having had one in a long time. Interesting. Who knew quitting could give you the same feeling as starting?

It's a little disconcerting, this lightheaded, dizzy feeling. That coupled with the horrific nightmares ..waking up sweating cold and breathing heavy.

This isn't my mind crying out for a cigarette..it's my whole body.

It's wierd, but I can view it in a detached sort of way and carry on with my business.

Thank God for video games and internet television. I am now caught up on several reruns and my simmys have the best house yet.

Yesterday...

Yesterday was good. I hope today is as easy.

Each Day

Each day is getting easier this time around instead of harder. Coolio...

$$$$$$$$$$$

Dollar signs. That is all I see when I light a cigarette anymore these days. I do think that the economic times may be what drives me over the edge. Doing that math..hurts the bean counter in me. I can put probably close to three hundred dollars in my pocket by not smoking. Whoa, buddy. Three hundred dollars a month is the electric bill or something. Or, a hell of a savings, anyway.

Shoot, so here I go again. Hey..keep on trying is my motto. I'll get it right one time. Hopefully this will be the time.